High School, five decades later

“Thank you for being here, and for thinking enough of each other to show up.” These were words of welcome from one of the organizers of our 50th high school reunion. They jumped out at me because I, too, was appreciating the effort people made to be there. Only a three and half hour drive for me, others had driven 10, 11 hours or more, or flown across the country or from southern states up to New York’s Hudson Valley. Some people still have family in the area, but at least a dozen of us made arrangements to stay in the same hotel so we would have extra opportunities to convene at breakfast or after the evening activities.

These smaller, quieter groups proved just as important as the larger gatherings at the ice breaker and dinner, providing openings for longer conversations and of course laughs and connections. Car pooling, again, meant precious minutes in even smaller groups.

I had been mixed about taking a tour of our old high school, but ultimately curiosity won out and I joined a few dozen others as the principal enthusiastically explained the new physical structures and then led us through the building, starting with the huge auditorium. (Our class graduated over 800 students, and class size remains similar.) These halls should have looked familiar, and some did. The planetarium, a place of sheer wonder in my youth, looked tiny, and in need of an upgrade. I had forgotten that the library overlooked the football field. A friend reminded me that during gym class, we sometimes wandered out of the field and walked the extra block to my house for snacks. Although I had expected the physical plant to jog my memory, it was actually seeing people and talking to them which conjured many more memories, and evoked the feelings of being together in high school.

The connections which were so easy, so truly taken for granted because we knew we would see each other every day in school, had remained vital and viable, and stood the test of time. We could reach across the decades to shake hands and hugs, thank each other for kindnesses, and be able to forgive hurtful transgressions. Our not fully developed selves were capable of foolishness, thoughtlessness, spontaneity, generosity, openness and innovation. I’m hoping we have retained some of those better qualities as we have lived our lives in our current relationships.

At the dinner we were also able to connect through dancing, and trying to solve the trivia questions the team composed, and more opportunities to catch up.

We all started from this same place, and despite the myriad and variety of journeys we have all undertaken, we have come back to share in a celebration of connections past and present, to honor those who we have lost too soon, and to bask in the acceptance of one another that only a long term knowing provides. There are questions that don’t need to be asked because we share a history, have seen each other with bad hair days, acne, failed exams, late papers, forgotten music, triumphant sports contests, and crushing losses, new outfits, new loves and loves lost.

High school adventures have given way to lost keys, rental car challenges, miscellaneous aches along with exotic travel and extensive work experience as well as expanded families and I arrived home glad to have made the trip. So good to see the faces that correspond to their high school photos, and I learned a bit more about people as well as myself.

And thank goodness the Commodore Chocolate shop remains open, still terrific chocolate and still owned by the family who lived up the street from me. As I munched my chocolate covered pretzels on the way home, I realized that I still have so many questions, wonder about so many people. And I’m so glad to have been a part of a group that cares enough to show up for each other – both then and now.